Every ten years, as
summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
"A reunion is planned; it'll be
really grand;
Make plans to attend without
fail.
I'll never forget the first
time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big
cigars,
And wore our most elegant
dresses.
It was quite an affair; the
whole class was
there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted
refined,
And everyone thought it was
swell.
The men all conversed about
who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described
their fine
houses
And how beautiful their children
became.
The homecoming queen, who
once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all
lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer
do
kicks.
No one had heard about the
class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the
moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always
been plain;
She married a shipping
tycoon.
The boy we'd decreed "most
apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was
a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and
then.
They awarded a prize to one
of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
And another to the one who had come
The farthest to attend the
feast.
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They took a class picture,
a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style
was the mini;
You never saw so many
thighs.
At our next get-together,
no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or
not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot
more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to
pot.
It was held out-of-doors,
at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and
beans.
Then most of us lay around in the
shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and
jeans.
By the fortieth year, it
was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl
out of bed,
Or be home early to take their
pill.
And now I can't wait;
they've set the date;
Our fiftieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented
a hall
At the Inverness Club for the
Old.
Repairs have been made on
my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on
high.
My wheelchair is oiled, my
teeth have been
boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass
eye.
I'm feeling quite hearty,
and I'm ready to
party.
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early
light.
It'll be lots of fun; I just hope
that there's one
other person who can make it that
night.
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